I had a revelation while talking to a friend of mine.
I'm always nostalgic for places I've lived. While moving to college, I was nostalgic for my hometown. It was super liberal, full of pierced and tattooed kids, and had the "live and let die" attitude. My college town was different than that - preppy, full of money, uptight, full of pressure to succeed. I wanted the free spirit of my hometown back.
Then I move to Beaumont, which is in a new spectrum. There's the small town, Christian conservative movement. Women who want only to raise kids. People who want nothing but what they know. I felt confined, and longed for both of my previous worlds.
I understand that what I wanted in those areas was to be understood and accepted by my society. I was different from the norm in the last two cities. I wanted the people I knew to magically accept the beliefs and ideas that I have come to accept and appreciate, despite knowing that those ideals aren't the norm. Many people hadn't been introduced to my way of thinking, even. I came with the idea, subconsciously, that I would revolutionize the thinking of the area and bring something to its people while I used the town for my own purposes.
What I claimed I wanted and what would make me happy were two different things, and both were impossible to create. While I am in Beaumont, I am going to have to hide parts of who I am to the casual onlooker to be accepted by society. (Of course I've made friends that can appreciate, and some understand, my way of thinking, which makes me closer to those people.) I cannot change people here to be liberal and atheist and feminist. I cannot mold this world into a personal utopia. I don't know why I thought I could.
Instead, I need to find a way to understand why people value what they do here. I need to be the one to stop hating the traditions that have somehow sustained this culture here. I will never accept them as my personal values. But, instead of the understanding and compassion being me-centric, I have to give it to be happy. The culture has sustained itself for so long, and there is a reason for it. (The reason may be good or bad.) I have to accept Beaumont as it is to be calm here.
Of course, I can't accept this culture as my own, or appreciate it fully. But my goal is to feel compassion towards it, and understand how the culture has developed in the direction that it has. I can't throw it away without understanding it. That has been my folly while living here.
More blogging, possibly with a vengeance, coming soon.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
New Hope
Two events have definitely raised my spirits: I've been to meetings for the school's Democrat's club and the school's Freethinker's society.
The Freethinkers are mostly atheists and gather to discuss whatever secular issues come up. We discussed, for example, whether atheists should compromise when trying to resolve issues with the religious right.
The Democrats were a group that I didn't get to spend as much time with, but they also seem very passionate about their ideals. The president and I spent some time talking about how unreceptive the Beaumont-area community was to non-Christians in general. We also discussed how awesome Barack Obama i, but that was to be expected.
There is a whole group that I didn't account for in my initial analysis of Beaumont. I've met several people who dislike Beaumont's status quo, and perhaps want to change the rigid thinking without backing away and leaving the problem. I love it.
The problem is that many Beaumont-ers are stuck in their beliefs, and they rival the groups' members' beliefs and goals. This creates a lot of repression, an inabilitay for many to express their true feelings without social repercussions. This creates a stronger passion for said feelings, and a strong resolve to fight for them. For example, several members of the Freethinkers were unwilling to concede to many religious points, even if in theory it would mean a little bit more harmony between the two groups, and more rights achieved for the atheist side. Likewise, I noticed a similar attitude of repression in the Dem's president.
I am absolutely elated to find these groups, especially as it's really comforting to find like-minded people here. The discussions are lively, the people are friendly, and I think participating in these groups will help me feel more comfortable in Beaumont.
The Freethinkers are mostly atheists and gather to discuss whatever secular issues come up. We discussed, for example, whether atheists should compromise when trying to resolve issues with the religious right.
The Democrats were a group that I didn't get to spend as much time with, but they also seem very passionate about their ideals. The president and I spent some time talking about how unreceptive the Beaumont-area community was to non-Christians in general. We also discussed how awesome Barack Obama i, but that was to be expected.
There is a whole group that I didn't account for in my initial analysis of Beaumont. I've met several people who dislike Beaumont's status quo, and perhaps want to change the rigid thinking without backing away and leaving the problem. I love it.
The problem is that many Beaumont-ers are stuck in their beliefs, and they rival the groups' members' beliefs and goals. This creates a lot of repression, an inabilitay for many to express their true feelings without social repercussions. This creates a stronger passion for said feelings, and a strong resolve to fight for them. For example, several members of the Freethinkers were unwilling to concede to many religious points, even if in theory it would mean a little bit more harmony between the two groups, and more rights achieved for the atheist side. Likewise, I noticed a similar attitude of repression in the Dem's president.
I am absolutely elated to find these groups, especially as it's really comforting to find like-minded people here. The discussions are lively, the people are friendly, and I think participating in these groups will help me feel more comfortable in Beaumont.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
My Hypothesis
The key to Beaumont's problems, as well as the reasons for people's love of the city, go back to the founding of the United States.
In the beginning, the South was an agricultural state. The basic set up was this: a wealthy (mostly likely Anglo) male ruled a plantation and large stretch of land. His wife was valued if she was a demure woman, able to run a basic household and entertain friends.
Underneath him he has poor tenant farmers that idolize him and want to work hard enough to buy their own land and be a plantation farmer. Little do most of them realize that with the small amount of land, the tenant farmer can barely produce enough crop to sell to save up for more than survival. Rent from the land and perhaps some tax from the crops sold adds to the fabulously wealthy lifestyle that the plantation owner can lead, but most tenant farmers cannot save up enough to leave the conditions that he was born into. However, there is the illusion and legal ability to rise above the circumstances, and that is good enough.
Also there are the slaves. These workers were kidnapped and forced to work. But really, no one else in the culture had respect for this group of people, except for a bit of secret gratitude that they were there to be the bottom of the social caste.
The way this tenuous society sustains itself, though agriculture, seems like the most secure way. Agriculture is how society has formed and sustained itself for millenia. It's strong. But such a trade is resistant to innovation and change. A farmer is needed to tend the crops. He might develop some tools to make his burden easier, but the basic principle of farming remains the same.
The Protestant's god also becomes important in the culture. Most people in the culture believe that their fate is controlled by a benevolent god, and that any bad that happens either will lead to a greater good or because they displeased this god. The southerners had to believe this because so much of their life was beyond their personal control. Some little, unknown reason could cause a bad crop, for example, which would mean revenue loss, and in some cases starvation, for the farmers. A woman had no legal rights, so her reliance on imperfect men had to be supplemented by a healthy fear and love of something greater than the men in her life. Slaves had to believe that there was some force greater than their owners that would deliver them from the evils of that institution. God was necessary as a scapegoat, because nature and human selfishness were not good enough reasons to blame for the problems in the society.
This society crashed during the Civil War and Reconstruction, but the mids of the people still clinged to the old ways. There were no slaves, but people still wanted the “people of color” to be there as a lowest class and for cheap labor. Tenant farmers could travel more easily and cheaply, and therefore find better job opportunities, but plantation owners needed people to manage their land cheaply. Plantation owners lost money from burned plantations, lost slaves, and distended farms, but the plantation owners were idolized. Also, the same people who fully accepted this way of life were still in power. There was no real reason to change (“We can still farm... right, guys?”) but there was less profit in it.
The less profit in the “old life” meant that people were moving West and North. Anyone who could make a name for themselves moved to a place with more economic opportunities. This meant that the best and the brightest were leaving the plantation lifestyle and forming new cities. There were fewer bright minds to revolutionize the farming lifestyle (and I'd like to think that the best and the brightest of the new generation would dislike the tie to the racism and social inequality of the plantation life.) These newer, hipper generation were finding new ways to generate income, not contributing to the established agricultural industry.
Beaumont, in its special place in history, also had the misfortune of being a boom town. There was vast wealth in the oil industry until the wells dried up. And as high as the fortunes were in the good days, the bad days must have been 10 times worse, and the city has never recovered from that loss.
But each generation that has stayed has learned this old tradition, and the culture has never been updated. People in the small town either agree, disagree and stay quiet to avoid social outcast, or disagree and leave to a different place that they find acceptable. As information is spread more easily in recent decades (especially with the internet) social tastes are changing, and even more of the old lifestyle is disliked, which means more mass exodus. These people who are leaving are the same people who could bring in more income to the area and, in theory, who could bring about industrial and social change. Each person who leaves brings the opportunity for Beaumont (or any other historically agricultural area) to improve away with them. Each person who remains has been at least partially indoctrinated with a belief in the various major tenants founded 200 years ago.
This manifests into some good. People with a strong belief in a god tend, on the whole, to be somewhat happier. People with a strong respect for authority commit less violent and nonviolent crimes. People in smaller towns with the same beliefs feel closer and more comfortable with each other, which makes a friendlier atmosphere. But the problems that many people cite, such as racism, sexism, and poverty, also stem from this background. It's almost like the southern areas that I'm talking about are purebreds being bred with each other. Few new strains (ideas) have been introduced, and that's not necessarily healthy.
My goal for this blog is to study the culture of the area and see if this hypothesis has panned out like I anticipate through this logic.
In the beginning, the South was an agricultural state. The basic set up was this: a wealthy (mostly likely Anglo) male ruled a plantation and large stretch of land. His wife was valued if she was a demure woman, able to run a basic household and entertain friends.
Underneath him he has poor tenant farmers that idolize him and want to work hard enough to buy their own land and be a plantation farmer. Little do most of them realize that with the small amount of land, the tenant farmer can barely produce enough crop to sell to save up for more than survival. Rent from the land and perhaps some tax from the crops sold adds to the fabulously wealthy lifestyle that the plantation owner can lead, but most tenant farmers cannot save up enough to leave the conditions that he was born into. However, there is the illusion and legal ability to rise above the circumstances, and that is good enough.
Also there are the slaves. These workers were kidnapped and forced to work. But really, no one else in the culture had respect for this group of people, except for a bit of secret gratitude that they were there to be the bottom of the social caste.
The way this tenuous society sustains itself, though agriculture, seems like the most secure way. Agriculture is how society has formed and sustained itself for millenia. It's strong. But such a trade is resistant to innovation and change. A farmer is needed to tend the crops. He might develop some tools to make his burden easier, but the basic principle of farming remains the same.
The Protestant's god also becomes important in the culture. Most people in the culture believe that their fate is controlled by a benevolent god, and that any bad that happens either will lead to a greater good or because they displeased this god. The southerners had to believe this because so much of their life was beyond their personal control. Some little, unknown reason could cause a bad crop, for example, which would mean revenue loss, and in some cases starvation, for the farmers. A woman had no legal rights, so her reliance on imperfect men had to be supplemented by a healthy fear and love of something greater than the men in her life. Slaves had to believe that there was some force greater than their owners that would deliver them from the evils of that institution. God was necessary as a scapegoat, because nature and human selfishness were not good enough reasons to blame for the problems in the society.
This society crashed during the Civil War and Reconstruction, but the mids of the people still clinged to the old ways. There were no slaves, but people still wanted the “people of color” to be there as a lowest class and for cheap labor. Tenant farmers could travel more easily and cheaply, and therefore find better job opportunities, but plantation owners needed people to manage their land cheaply. Plantation owners lost money from burned plantations, lost slaves, and distended farms, but the plantation owners were idolized. Also, the same people who fully accepted this way of life were still in power. There was no real reason to change (“We can still farm... right, guys?”) but there was less profit in it.
The less profit in the “old life” meant that people were moving West and North. Anyone who could make a name for themselves moved to a place with more economic opportunities. This meant that the best and the brightest were leaving the plantation lifestyle and forming new cities. There were fewer bright minds to revolutionize the farming lifestyle (and I'd like to think that the best and the brightest of the new generation would dislike the tie to the racism and social inequality of the plantation life.) These newer, hipper generation were finding new ways to generate income, not contributing to the established agricultural industry.
Beaumont, in its special place in history, also had the misfortune of being a boom town. There was vast wealth in the oil industry until the wells dried up. And as high as the fortunes were in the good days, the bad days must have been 10 times worse, and the city has never recovered from that loss.
But each generation that has stayed has learned this old tradition, and the culture has never been updated. People in the small town either agree, disagree and stay quiet to avoid social outcast, or disagree and leave to a different place that they find acceptable. As information is spread more easily in recent decades (especially with the internet) social tastes are changing, and even more of the old lifestyle is disliked, which means more mass exodus. These people who are leaving are the same people who could bring in more income to the area and, in theory, who could bring about industrial and social change. Each person who leaves brings the opportunity for Beaumont (or any other historically agricultural area) to improve away with them. Each person who remains has been at least partially indoctrinated with a belief in the various major tenants founded 200 years ago.
This manifests into some good. People with a strong belief in a god tend, on the whole, to be somewhat happier. People with a strong respect for authority commit less violent and nonviolent crimes. People in smaller towns with the same beliefs feel closer and more comfortable with each other, which makes a friendlier atmosphere. But the problems that many people cite, such as racism, sexism, and poverty, also stem from this background. It's almost like the southern areas that I'm talking about are purebreds being bred with each other. Few new strains (ideas) have been introduced, and that's not necessarily healthy.
My goal for this blog is to study the culture of the area and see if this hypothesis has panned out like I anticipate through this logic.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Women's Culture
Lurking around in Golden Triangle Area (Beaumont - Orange - Port Arthur) has given me many new experiences in human interaction, to say the least. I've been able to interact with many different groups of people, including band students, general students, members of the general population, and friends and acquaintances that I've met before coming here. Of course, many of these groups overlap, but I've noticed some distinct differences in my interactions and their behavior. Of course, no one person fits every description I make.
Generally speaking, and I am in no way PC, more women than average act dumb. It may be a careful facade. It may a subtle patronizing habit when dealing with strangers. But I believe the culture here still suppresses women into the traditional role, without emphasizing the importance of higher education or personal achievement.
Women, either my age, older, or younger, tend to act docile and silly. When talking to them, "important issues" such as current events, politics, or other philosophy are brushed aside. Opinions on such ideas are not well-formulated, and tend to reflect racism or other prejudice. Conversation, instead, turns to more superficial matters quite quickly, and the same issues are reflected on this smaller scale. They also seem to cling to their mates, such as putting a spouse or boyfriend before themselves, and using his judgment before their own. Arguments between the husband/boyfriend and the father over what's best for the woman seems somewhat common.
This also breeds a closer relationship between women. I've seen less backstabbing and catfighting between women here, and I've been involved in friendlier conversations with other women than I would have in "the outside world." Women trust each other more.
Men, also, don't seem to respect women as sentient, rational beings. In my personal experience, I've had people talk to me through my boyfriend, as if he's the only one allowed to or able to speak to me, people talk to me as a child or stripper, such as calling me "girl," "darling," etc. The Boyfriend even tends to explain (what he considers) moderately difficult concepts to me with simple explanations, even if I already understand the concept, or only needed clarification on one detail. Most women, when faced with this treatment, don't seem to find it as offensive as I do, and most men don't mean it to be as offensive as I find it.
Women that I've surrounded myself with, and those attending college, seem to have more independent personalities than the one I've described above. Although there are plenty of women like that attending the school, those that I choose to interact with regularly seem to be more like people I've met in other areas that I've lived, at least in terms of competence and independence. There are many women here that I am impressed with, or enjoy the company of. In fact, I can't really reconcile many of the people I've met and become friends with with the general observations that I've made.
I feel bad because right after I have a really interesting conversation with a woman from some class, I can go to Market Basket and see an 18 year old, small children in tow, calling her boyfriend/husband to ask him what brand of beans to get because she can't decide on her own.
I defiantly feel a disconnect between my friends from Beaumont that I've met before coming here, my college friends, my expectations of society, and the general area. I can see some influences every once in a while, but I feel like I'm living in three different worlds.
Generally speaking, and I am in no way PC, more women than average act dumb. It may be a careful facade. It may a subtle patronizing habit when dealing with strangers. But I believe the culture here still suppresses women into the traditional role, without emphasizing the importance of higher education or personal achievement.
Women, either my age, older, or younger, tend to act docile and silly. When talking to them, "important issues" such as current events, politics, or other philosophy are brushed aside. Opinions on such ideas are not well-formulated, and tend to reflect racism or other prejudice. Conversation, instead, turns to more superficial matters quite quickly, and the same issues are reflected on this smaller scale. They also seem to cling to their mates, such as putting a spouse or boyfriend before themselves, and using his judgment before their own. Arguments between the husband/boyfriend and the father over what's best for the woman seems somewhat common.
This also breeds a closer relationship between women. I've seen less backstabbing and catfighting between women here, and I've been involved in friendlier conversations with other women than I would have in "the outside world." Women trust each other more.
Men, also, don't seem to respect women as sentient, rational beings. In my personal experience, I've had people talk to me through my boyfriend, as if he's the only one allowed to or able to speak to me, people talk to me as a child or stripper, such as calling me "girl," "darling," etc. The Boyfriend even tends to explain (what he considers) moderately difficult concepts to me with simple explanations, even if I already understand the concept, or only needed clarification on one detail. Most women, when faced with this treatment, don't seem to find it as offensive as I do, and most men don't mean it to be as offensive as I find it.
Women that I've surrounded myself with, and those attending college, seem to have more independent personalities than the one I've described above. Although there are plenty of women like that attending the school, those that I choose to interact with regularly seem to be more like people I've met in other areas that I've lived, at least in terms of competence and independence. There are many women here that I am impressed with, or enjoy the company of. In fact, I can't really reconcile many of the people I've met and become friends with with the general observations that I've made.
I feel bad because right after I have a really interesting conversation with a woman from some class, I can go to Market Basket and see an 18 year old, small children in tow, calling her boyfriend/husband to ask him what brand of beans to get because she can't decide on her own.
I defiantly feel a disconnect between my friends from Beaumont that I've met before coming here, my college friends, my expectations of society, and the general area. I can see some influences every once in a while, but I feel like I'm living in three different worlds.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Hurricane'd - Part Two
I'm finally back in the dorms, and the car alarms and people yelling and running through the halls has already started. Welcome back, I guess.
Going through SE Texas was not as bad as I expected. (Of course, I didn't get to see Bridge City.) I got a lot of pictures with billboards ruined or trees knocked down, maybe one trailer overturned. But there was little damage sustained to the area, or so it seemed.
FEMA was here, with what I assume was the National Guard, handing out MREs and cases of water. The Boyfriend and I passed by one drop-off station in Vidor, and about 15 cars were in line for the free food and water.
Price gouging was also an issue in the area. The Boyfriend reported that Bluebell ice cream was sold at the local store for $10 for a half gallon. The attorney general has encouraged people to report such problems, but I doubt this would be reported. People are usually reluctant to shut down the only grocery store in town.
However, today I was allowed back into the dorms. I thought I'd be able to relax and concentrate on preparing for my first class day in almost two weeks. This was not the case. I believe that my window was broken by the hurricane, and my dorm room was messed up quite a bit from the cleaning efforts. Besides the mysterious powder that covers everything, (I have no idea what it is, but it smells terrible) several personal items are missing, and some things in my room have melted. I wish the dorms had hired some more trustworthy people, but I'll keep everyone posted regarding this situation.
I haven't been able to see the whole campus, but it seems like the dorm complex as a whole has not been able to bounce back easily. There are still several broken windows in the dorm rooms, and some of the facilities are out. The laundry room for my dorm hall is out of order, for example. Several buildings are also still in disrepair in the main campus, and classes have had to be moved.
As a parting note, here's a link to a news story about how awesome FEMA is at helping people out. http://setxhomepage.com/content/fulltext/?cid=21761
Going through SE Texas was not as bad as I expected. (Of course, I didn't get to see Bridge City.) I got a lot of pictures with billboards ruined or trees knocked down, maybe one trailer overturned. But there was little damage sustained to the area, or so it seemed.
FEMA was here, with what I assume was the National Guard, handing out MREs and cases of water. The Boyfriend and I passed by one drop-off station in Vidor, and about 15 cars were in line for the free food and water.
Price gouging was also an issue in the area. The Boyfriend reported that Bluebell ice cream was sold at the local store for $10 for a half gallon. The attorney general has encouraged people to report such problems, but I doubt this would be reported. People are usually reluctant to shut down the only grocery store in town.
However, today I was allowed back into the dorms. I thought I'd be able to relax and concentrate on preparing for my first class day in almost two weeks. This was not the case. I believe that my window was broken by the hurricane, and my dorm room was messed up quite a bit from the cleaning efforts. Besides the mysterious powder that covers everything, (I have no idea what it is, but it smells terrible) several personal items are missing, and some things in my room have melted. I wish the dorms had hired some more trustworthy people, but I'll keep everyone posted regarding this situation.
I haven't been able to see the whole campus, but it seems like the dorm complex as a whole has not been able to bounce back easily. There are still several broken windows in the dorm rooms, and some of the facilities are out. The laundry room for my dorm hall is out of order, for example. Several buildings are also still in disrepair in the main campus, and classes have had to be moved.
As a parting note, here's a link to a news story about how awesome FEMA is at helping people out. http://setxhomepage.com/content/fulltext/?cid=21761
Sunday, September 14, 2008
A Guide to Life During the Hurricanes
Well, let me start out by saying to my friends and family that I'm doing well. For those of you who don't visit Weather Underground (www.wunderground.com) as often as I do, Beaumont was bombarded by Hurricane Ike. It landed in Southeast Texas about Friday. Luckily, I left Wednesday night, so I made it out easily.
Beaumont had already suffered in 2006 from Hurricane Rita. Besides the seven direct deaths and 120 total deaths, the region was affected greatly. That was the first huge hurricane to strike and the people weren't prepared for it. Many businesses didn't return to the area, and many others suffered because of the damage and the decreased business afterwards.
However, Hurricane Ike hit me personally, unlike Rita. I was in my third week of school when I got the call to leave. Like many others, I didn't think it was going to be "that big of a deal," but I made sure to get any irreplaceable items out. However, it turned out to be much worse. Many towns around the Beaumont area, such as Port Arthur and Orange, are practically underwater. Lamar University did seem to sustain some damage, and there were reports of flooding and tornadoes in Beaumont. Houston was also flooded badly.
The Boyfriend and I came to Austin, like many other evacuees. I am not living in one of the shelters hastily made for the thousands of people leaving Southeast Texas, but I hear them to be slightly uncomfortable. Not everyone has a cot; children don't have toys or entertainment. (Many people complain about this, but the Red Cross is trying to get better accomodations to everyone as soon as possible. It takes some time, and everyone does have a roof over their head and food. The sick have medical treatment. There haven't been reports of crime.)
Austin, the city, has tried to make life as comfortable as possible for these refugees. For example, all of the museums in the town were free on Saturday, so many refugees could take their families to get free entertainment. UT also postponed their football game to alleviate traffic coming into the city. I, personally, have been greeted with more empathy and kindness than I probably deserve, as I've been replacing some documents that I left in my dorm at school. Overall, with some small exceptions, the evacuees have been treated with empathy and have been helped to the best of the city's abilities.
I don't know when I'm returning to school, but the estimate is two to three weeks.
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